Cloud 10's TOP 10 MOMENTS OF 2010!!

 Well 2010 was a HELLUVA a year to say the fucking least.. I mean it went from one extreme to the next from the Earthquake in Haiti to the BP oil spill, to the epic and smelly rise of Ke$ha (she know her name is pronounced Keisha doe), yes 2010 saw a lot of hits, misses and many in betweens.  Hey at least the recession ended right?? Anyway here's a quick recap of the year that was 2010!!

10) The Coonerific Emergence of one Antoine Dodson - I mean when white folks started singing the Bed Intruder song and I saw a fellow Greek lettered organization with a Greek Olympics that had Antoine Dodson's face on it, I knew there was small subsection of hell that was allocated for coonery.  That is the only way to explain how Antoine's sister, the victim in this whole thing was thrown by the wayside and her coiffed brother was all over the internet and televisions of America.  Antoine eventually got a song that made him some royalties, a milkshake, an appearance on the George Lopez show, some more product endorsements.. Hate him or his coonerific ways, Antoine turned lemons into lemon pepper wangs in a freeze cup.

I just hope Gary is in the humidified section of heaven... Too soon? Oh

9) The Death of Gary Coleman - Man Gary Coleman shole did suffer throughout his life.  He was the textbook example of what can go wrong with Hollywood kids not having a proper support structure around them.  I don't think Gary ever recovered after the end of Diff'rent Strokes or the trauma of repeatedly being asked to say 'WHATCHU TALKING BOUT WILLIS -insert face here-.  I mean yall refused to let little Arnold Jackson grow up, it didn't help that Gary was probably 6.7 inches taller than his childhood character as an adult.. I mean I won't go into how Gary became an angry, walking meme we'll just let little Gary rest on in ashy peace!

8) The Dominance of Twitter -  So I hope yall saw how Twitter started off as the mistress, the sideline hoe (see next Moment of 2010) and eventually started to make moves for MAIN SQUEEZE aka Housewife status that Facebook once held so confidently.  I mean I remember last year I started Twitter and I was like man this ish is boring...Now a couple hundred followers later and stomach cramps from laughing so hard.  I rarely spend more than 30 minutes browsing FB, usually I'm on FB chat hollering at folks and looking at pics.  The groups and more specifically the bumping, exciting walls have died out (R.I.P FGS, CGI, FAP, Cool Kids etc etc.) I mean Facebook has OD'd on changes much to their detriment and Twitter has become the new hang out spot/breaking news spot. I mean damn how many deaths, incidents, return to jail did we find out about from Twitter? We see you over there trying to make some noise Tumblr...Keep trying doe.  Shout out to Negro Twitter!! I see you BROWN TWITTER BIRD!! We run this SHITTTTTTTTT!

Fact that most of the news about serious events turned into Twitter memes is....

7) The BP Oil Spill - We all know what really happened in the Gulf, on April 20th tons of Jermaine Jackson hair product (dye, ash, grease, crude oil, brown hair gel all congealed) exploded and spill out by the gallons and became the worst oil disaster EVER!  BP was shady as hell but the American government made sure that shit got plugged up and stopped, albeit a bit too late... how about months too late but hey a bit of pressure and finger hovering over that red button that controls a missle aimed straight at Great Britain meant that the fallout from the disaster would be squarely on the shoulders of BP. 

SECURITY!

6) Lacefronts - I swear I prayed to baby Jesus laying in a manger with some Girbaud jeans, a gangster grill and Karl Kani zip up that the lacefront would've followed the inventor of the Segway and roll off of a cliff but alas I touch down in the Bahamas and its like an epidemic young, old and in between are all rocking the lacefront.  Man can someone cry some Phoenix tears on the scalps of the women worldwide who insist upon placing these detriments to the good of natural beauty.  I remember when weaves were inconspicuous and men could never tell if a woman was wearing one.. Now chicks wear they're lace front and say WHO GONE DO SOMETHING?!?! Somehow I feel like Beyonce is responsible..

H.H.I.C - Head Hoe In Charge

5) The Come Up of the Hoe - Side pieces, trollops, scallywags, jumpoffs, bustdowns and sideline hoes all sent up a united coochie sign (that's how they unite) as a lot of them made significant grounds.  Starting with Tiger Woods' long list of bustdowns that came forward and tried to parlay their hoe shit into legit shit. We're talking to you Rachel Uchitel.  Kat Stacks was another jumpoff that over extended her 15 minutes with a lot of hilarious videos putting some of the most irrelevant of the Hip Hop game on blast.  Bow Wow, Soulja Coke Boy, The Rest of them nukkas in Young Money... Yeah Kat is currently locked up and a couple other skeezers that tried to make a name for themselves failed miserably but yall did good this year man.

Left or Right? I choose the Virgin Mary please and thanks...

4) The Chilean Miners - I am really trying not to make this triumphant story about the enduring spirit of the human body but Yonni you really were a SELFISH mother.... when you decided to invite your sidepiece (see entry Number 5) and your wife to be there to welcome you out of a literal coffin you really made this whole rescue about YOU after being trapped with 33 other men in a hole for 69 days. I mean REALLY dude anyway doe, God is good for bringing you all to safety as the entire world watch man's ingenuity.

3) Butt Pads - Somehow I really don't know why but something about the emergence and acceptance of butt pads as the new Wonder Bra for the ass is... Man I mean I know everyone aint got it but ass injection, butt pads, butt shapers, what next something to make your coochie plumper? Anyway Nicki Minaj and whoever else out there is wearing some silicone, styrofoam ass pads. Booty Pop with no shame huh!! LOOK MA HANDS!!  Kudos!!

Mike says he wants a new dog to help with his rehabilitation.. Yeahhh

2) The Resurgence of Michael Vick - Man many people wrote Mike Vick off as a has-been dog killer, the dogs and pretty much rest of America had wrote this fool off.  But the Philadelphia Eagles made a good choice (along with myself during Fantasy football as my starting QB). Although Conservative America still wants to keep putting this man of trial for a crime he already played.  But we're not going to go into how 'Conservative' America keeps demonizing and villifying this man who is just out to redeem himself.  If Big Ben Rothegagagkldberger can get away with a couple slap on the wrists please let Mike Vick be great!

1) The Haiti Earthquake - The Earthquake in Haiti was one of the worst natural disasters in the history of mankind.  On January 12th 2010 a 7.0 magnitude Earthquake struck near the capital of Haiti and the outpouring of concern and support for our friends and family in Haiti was inspiring.  Money, aid and help began to pour in to help the people of Haiti who for too long  were marginalized by their regional and global neighbors. The entertainers of the world all made their mark to raise money and awareness, Wyclef started off good with Yele Haiti but you know black folks can't have nice things.  Then we further messed it up with this remake of an untouchable classic like We Are The World.  Negro Twitter was angry about this shit tooo... Why there was a rapping section at all is just..


What were your Top Moments of 2010? Do you agree with my list? 


Hope 2011 is Prosperous and Joy-Filled!!